Too Tired to Blog

It doesn't sound like I'm the only one who is going through a difficult transition of their life. For some reason, February sounds like it's been a grueling month for just about everyone I talk to. Lately, I haven't even found the time to catch up on my blog reading...or writing.

I've started a new position at work which has been quite a big transition for me, definitely more than I thought it was going to mean. I've been feeling a lot of pressure with my work and with my time. February is one of our hugest months at work with some of our biggest events going on all in the same week. It's been a lot of early mornings and late nights. Add that to the fact that this is one of Deo's busiest travel seasons so he's pretty gone 60% of the time. Oh ya, and I'm a 7 months pregnant! I feel almost dead to the outside world, especially when Deo is gone, since pretty much I pass out right when I get home and finally get the baby fed and to sleep. Which, by the way, makes me feel so sorry for Trey. He's had some long days at the sitters and I'm not really in the best mood by the time I pick him up and pretty much pray he goes to bed early. It makes me feel like such a horrible mom since during these weeks I literally only get to see him for a few hours of the day. Realizing this helps me make a conscious effort to give him the best 3 hours I can...but it's still a struggle.

I've also been super emotional lately. Call it the hormones, or the stress, but most likely it's a combination of them both. I get very emotional when I'm stressed out anyways, so add that to the emotional roller coaster of having a toddler and a baby on the way, and to put it nicely, I've been kind of a wreck. I'm having those feelings of debating what I'm doing with my life and trying to figure out what is best for my family. My only saving grace is in about 2 months I will be on maternity and hopefully can only focus on my family and not have the stresses of work playing in my head even while I'm home.

In addition to everything else going on in our lives, our sitter told us she will no longer watching kids due to some personal issues. Overall, I really do think things will work out for the best as this is giving us the opportunity to have my sister-in-law way Trey. I have mixed emotions about this. I have reservations with her watching Trey...she is wonderful and I think it is so great he will get to spend this time with his aunt, uncle, and cousins everyday. I'm more worried about how it will or could affect our relationship with them. I don't want anything to come between us as a family and I hope this doesn't. We decided to give it a trial run until I have the new baby (since then I'll be on maternity), and then we can evaluate things then to see if it's working. If not, that give us plenty of time to find other arrangements.

It does break my heart to think of changing things up on Trey because he loves it at his sitters so much. On the weekends all he talks about his Nic-Nic, Sheyanne, 'Lique, and Tink-Tink. He gets so excited when I tell him we're going to see Sheyanne (which then he get a huge grin on his face and even blushes a little). We hope to stay in their lives as Angelique and her family has been such an important part of our lives.

With all the changes and busy-ness of our lives the past few months, it's been hard to keep up with family and friends...and this blog. Hopefully you haven't given up on me yet...I'm still here!